We encourage our kids to have friends over. It’s pretty common for there to be an extra kid or two hanging out for a few hours or spending the night. That’s why I didn’t think much of it when Mike brought a new friend home last Thursday after school.
“Mom, this is my friend, Darius. Do you mind if we go downstairs and play video games for a while?” Mike asked.
“Sure, sweetheart. Go ahead,” I replied, then I went back to making dinner.
About an hour later, Mike came upstairs and told me that Darius was going to need a ride home. I thought that was strange, but sometimes Mike offers our help without checking with us first, so I didn’t think too much of it. I told Mike that we were busy then but someone could take Darius home after we were done with dinner. Darius texted his mother and let us know that she was ok with that. Later that evening, my husband drove the boys over to the apartment complex where Darius lives. When they got there, Darius noticed that his Mother’s car was not there. He texted her again and she replied that she had to leave and wanted to know if he could just spend the night at our house because he couldn’t get in his apartment. We thought that was weird, but we weren’t about to leave the boy alone in the parking lot, so he came back to our house and spent the night.
On Friday morning before school, I pulled Darius aside and tried to get some more information about his home life. Mr. M and I had an uneasy feeling about the whole situation. As foster parents, we are required to report suspected abuse, but I refuse to make that call unless I am fairly certain abuse is actually happening. My gut told me that Darius was not being truthful, but I couldn’t tell what the truth was. Darius assured me that his mother would be picking him up later that day, then he and Mike left for school.
Friday was a busy day in our town. It was homecoming week, and there were events all day long. I was busy taking care of My Littles and My Middles. Lu was not feeling well, and she was taking a lot of my attention. My Bigs and my Olders (whom I still need to write a post about) were all busy doing other things, so my day was completely consumed with caring for my family. Late in the afternoon, in the midst of the chaos, I noticed that Darius’s backpack was in the kitchen.
A while later, Darius walked into the house with Mike. I asked him why he was here and not home. He explained that he was hanging out between homecoming activities and that he and Mike would be leaving for the parade and football game in a little while. His mother would be picking him up after the game. That seemed reasonable to me, so I wished him well and went back to my day.
The rest of the evening was busy but typical, that is until bedtime. I was exhausted, but I waited for Mike to get home before climbing the stairs and heading to my bed. When Mike came home, he was not alone. Darius was with him. I looked at them both in utter amazement. Darius stammered. He explained that his mom never came to pick him up and when he texted her, she had told him that she had gone to work. He sheepishly asked if he could spend one more night, insisting that his mother would pick him up here when she got off work the next day. I shrugged and told him, “That’s fine, but when she picks you up tomorrow, I am going to talk to her.” Then I went to bed.
The next morning, I woke up refreshed and determined to get to the bottom of our strange visitor’s story. I assumed he had been lying, but I was hoping to get a glimmer of the truth. I still was not sure if a call to protective services was warranted. I questioned Darius several times that day. I watched closely for signs of trauma and abuse. I repeatedly asked him what time his mother would be coming to get him, reminding him that I was determined to speak with her when she came. I had already asked for all of her contact information, but Darius was being less than helpful.
As the day wore on and the time came closer to when we were finally going to get to meet Darius’s mom, his story suddenly changed. Apparently, Darius’s mom had messaged him and needed him to be dropped off at the mall. I looked Darius in the eye and firmly explained that I would not allow that. He was not leaving my home until I met his mother. Darius squirmed. He stammered and came up with a lame excuse as to why he needed to be at the mall. I gave him another chance to be truthful, but got nowhere. I left Darius playing video games with Mike and went upstairs. Mr. M and I discussed all of the details and decided that since we really had no evidence of abuse, I would call the police. The police could take it from there.
Not long after my call to the station, an officer arrived at our home. (I really need to bake our local officers cookies or something. It seems like they are out here to help us out quite a bit.) We called Darius upstairs. He seemed shocked to see an officer there waiting for him. Darius started with some of the same stories that he had given us. The officer had him collect his things and get in the cruiser. They were going to drive around until they found Darius’s mom. As they left, I breathed a sigh of relief.
In the mean time, we had found a Facebook account that we were pretty certain belonged to Darius’s mother. We sent her a request. She responded the next day and asked why the police had been involved. I explained what had happened on our side. She explained her side, sending copies of the messages between herself and Darius. He had refused to go with her after school on Thursday and had gone to the basketball court instead. That is where he met Mike. Once he came to our house he decided he was going to stay here as long as he could. No one knows why. Some mysteries are never solved.
2 thoughts on “The Visitor”
First I want to start this comment by saying that I am so very fond of your blog. Your family reminds me of a foster family I was placed with as a child who really changed my life, who I love with all my heart to this day, even though I haven’t seen them since I was a kid. So with that established I want to say that I feel like I can relate with Darius. After i was returned to my home I found myself making any excuse I could to spend time away. I would flock to any family I could, I tried to stay at places with love and stability.
I don’t know this boys home back ground but his excuses and behavior remind me of myself back then. When i returned to my house their was a lot of pressure (she was a single mom) and a lot of yelling and stress and difficult circumstances. If his household is similar to that It makes sense to me that he would want to stay in a place filled with people doing things all the time and spending time together. It’s probably as simple as, he just wasn’t comfortable being home. But really that’s not really a simple answer at all.
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Thank you for your insight. It’s quite possible that you are exactly right. It’s good to hear from people on the other side of a situation. It helps keep things in perspective.
I did offer to have Darius come over to hang out whenever his mother was OK with it, but we haven’t seen him since. His mom messaged me yesterday asking if I had seen him. I hope he’s ok.
Also, I’m glad you had a loving foster family. That is so refreshing to hear. I’m sure they love you too. I have ones that have touched my heart and I will always love them, even if I never see them again.
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